get the fuck out
I want Plankton to plow my ass into the 4th dimension, I want my ass to be the reason he doesn’t give up when he fails to steal the krabby patty formula, I want you to send me to bikini bottom with 40 tanks of oxygen cause I’m gonna be on that dick for 40 days and 40 nights and then some I don’t give a fuck I’ll die riding that dick
please calm down ma’m
I’m a guy
- Book 1: But Harry, James saved Snape's life.
- Movie: NO. Pfft. Minor details. Clearly the ear wax joke is more important.
- Book 3: Harry your father turned into an illegal animagus to help Professor Lupin out.
- Movie: Yeah, here's a stag. Imagine it's your father Harry.
- Book 4: Harry, I am the Dark Lord and even I acknowledge that your dad was brave as fuck.
- Movies: What are you talking about?
- Book 5: Look, he is insecure and smitten. And oh, that was a TERRIBLE thing to do James. Yeah, sure you hate what Snape called Lily later. And sure Snape retailated or whatever. But that wasn't cool James, that was stupid and unnecessary.
- Movie: YOU TERRIBLE BULLY, TERRORIZING ITTY LITTLE SNAPE LIKE THAT!
- Book 7: Oh, look James is in hiding and being a loving father. Oh look, he is standing wandless in front of the darkest wizard in wizard history to give his family time to run. Oh look, he sacrificed himself at just twenty one in the hope of saving his family.
- Movie: James, James who? The guy Snape stepped over to get to his ONE TWU LUV. Oh her baby is crying in the cot there. BUT HE DOESN'T GIVES A FUCK BECAUSE DEAD BODY CRADLING. TRUE LOVE GUYS. ALWAYS. FUCKING ALWAYS. ALWAYSSSS.
- This was a guide on how to push brave and flawed characters to the side and romanticize abusive relationships. And trust me I am skimming the surface here. There are so many scenes in the movie that completely trivalized James' character.
i love this more then i really should
JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE WASPS HIGHER ON THE LIST THAN PRISONERS
PRISONERS AT LEAST HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SIT POLITELY AND CONGRATULATE YOU WASPS ARE THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF METATRON’S DICK FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS WITH NO LUBE
That is the best description I have ever heard.
has this been done before or….
Anonymous said: "It's a metaphor" I have no doubt that you completely understand and stand by this statement that the act of putting an unlit cigarette in Augustus Waters' mouth is in fact a metaphor. But for some folks, we don't see it asa metaphor, we see it as situational irony, or a simple statement. Please explain how it is a metaphor.
Well, a character in a novel saying that something is a metaphor is not the same thing as the author of the novel saying that it’s a metaphor. Gus’s intellectual grasp often exceeds his reach (he calls a monologue a soliloquy, and misuses quite a few of the bigger words in his vocabulary). But I do think the cigarette is a metaphor, albeit a different one for us than it is for him.
Gus’s idea is that the cigarette is a metaphor for illness, and he keeps it unlit and in his mouth as an expression of his power over illness. “You put the killing thing between your teeth but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.” Gus’s thinking here is that HE has the power. This is why he tends to use the cigarette when he’s feeling nervous or powerless. (He’s also using the most famous commercially available carcinogen to make this statement, so obviously there’s a connection there in his mind: Humans can prevent cancer by not smoking; cancer is something we can have power over; your job is not to give cancer the power to kill you; etc.)
But of course Gus is wrong about all of this, or at least almost all of it. You may have SOME control over whether you die of cancer (you can choose not to smoke), but in most cases humans don’t have control over illness. “You don’t give it the power to do its killing” imagines more agency over illness than we actually have, because in the end much of the fault is in the stars, not in ourselves. So to us, the unlit cigarette is a metaphor for our false perception of control, and our urgent need to feel in control. It’s no coincidence, then, that when Gus’s life is spiraling out of control and he finds himself powerless before fate, he tries (and fails) to buy cigarettes.
FU Belgium but God bless Tim Howard